W is for ...

Weather appropriate knitwear. Yah, I am stretching it here for the abc-along but dudes! I'm running out of time. I knit my MiL the Spiral Hat from 101 Designer One-Skein Wonders. I wanted to take pictures so that I could send it off quick so that it gets to her in time for her birthday which is in two days. Which meant I had to hurry. Which meant I did a photo shoot in the bathroom. Which meant I didn't have time to shower and get all done up. Which meant that when my hair was down I looked like Slash.



Looking like Slash has advantages I'm sure, probably, for someone, but it seemed like all that hair was distracting from the hat. Unfortunately, without all that hair, I kind of took on a phallic form. Looking like a giant phallus? Also distracting from the hat.



I tried to get a picture of the back of the hat, I got two! Bonus!



After a quick scan of the photos, I realized that the lighting was off. Way off. So I moved to the other bathroom. But I was sick of the hat photo shoot by then and started farting around. I ended with a picture of the Cat in the Hat. It amused me!



So. I knit a hat for my MiL. I tried to have it done by Christmas but I cannot knit a hat in the time it takes to drive to New Joisey, so ix-nay on the hristmas-Cay resent-pay. It was really easy to knit and now I am gonna try to get it to her for her birthday. She can wear it in the winter, thus it will be weather appropriate. The End!



Yarn: Filatura Di Crosa, Sympathie, Color 3, Lot 3082, part of 2 skeins (note: I double-stranded the yarn). This is the same yarn I used to knit LB's sweater.
Needles: Susan Bates Circ, size 5.0 mm (US 8)
Pattern: Spiral Hat
Modifications: None.
Time: Three days.
Care: Hand wash cold and dry flat in shade or dry clean.

Gifts

Gifts are a funny thing. There are those things you give because you have an obligation to do so, whether it be due to an occasion (I got your name for the holiday gift exchange, enjoy the WalMart gift card, ya douche bag) or a relationship (you're my husband, it's Christmas, enjoy the underwear) and then there are the other gifts. The gifts you give because you care about someone and you think they will enjoy the gift (like a homemade music CD, given just because). Sometimes the two intersect, and you have a gift that you think your person will enjoy, but hey, it also works for an occasion. Kismet! Which ever way it happens, I generally find gift giving very stressful. If it is an obligatory gift, I worry that the person can tell that I really don't give a shit and am just buying something because I have to (Gah! Ending a sentence with a preposition! Bad!). If it is a random, thinking of you gift, I usually am so pleased with myself that I then worry that the person won't really like it and I am coming off as a weirdo-stalker-doesn't-respect-social-moraes-and-boundaries-a-la-Crazy*. If it is a gift for an occasion and I think the person will really like what I got, well, then I worry that the person won't like it and not only will my gift suck in general, it is the big loser gift for the occasion. No one wants to be the giver of the holiday dud. Yes, I am insane.


All signs point to no modeling career for Lady Bean. Can you say uncooperative?
And, refusing to smile? Oh, and manhandling the merchandise?

I am also blathering on, instead of getting to my point, which is: I knit a hat, a very specific baby hat, for my friend as a shower gift and then I had second thoughts about actually giving it as a gift. So why so anxious? Well, first, I am insane. We know this. Moving on. What if it sucks? Can you give a handknit gift to another knitter and not have it be perfect? (Apparently yes, if the giftee is very nice and kind.) I do have to say that part of my anxiety belongs at the feet of the Yarn Harlot. You see, I was catching up on my blog reading when I saw this post of hers. This post where someone knit what looks to be a modified version of the Bee Fields Shawl as a baby shower gift. Holy Fuck People! SOMEONE KNIT THE BEE FIELDS SHAWL AS A BABY SHOWER GIFT. This shawl, I love this shawl. But it is KICKING MY ASS. (I am stuck on row eleven in case anyone cares and wants to help! I don't have a marker to slip where the pattern says to slip ... um, hello?) Anyway, I can not imagine giving that shawl to someone as a gift (mostly because I am greedy and would never want to give it up if I ever got it done). Also, and somewhat unrelated, who do I have to befriend to get gifts like that? Anywho, talk about setting the bar HIGH. So I see that and then I think, if that is what you give as a shower gift, well then my little viking hat? Feh.


I put her where she can't move to get a decent picture and she's all indignant!

The hat confounded me because when I followed the *&@^%!# pattern, I ended up with a hat that fit my head. A head much larger than any baby could sport. To quote Boo, "HOLY CRAP! Birthing a baby with a melon that big would kill her!" I had to fidget with The Mathes. The Mathes who laugh uproariously because I need to use my fingers when I count/add/subtract/etc. I had to use my kid as a model/test dummy. My kid with the odd shaped head that requires physical therapy. I had to learn new techniques (though I must say, hellllllloooo i-cord, I love you). I had to be innovative and 'make it work' with a three-needle bind-off. I had to seam and I had to sew, which HA! Oh, and HA! Depsite all of my insanity, and my knitting hurdles, I am pleased with the hat and hope Jr. enjoys it.



Yarn: Lion Brand Wool Ease in brown and beige. The grey area with the rivets were done in something from my stash that was a wool, acrylic, nylon blend. I have lost the tag in my travels though, so I can't give the name or the color.
Needles: Susan Bates Circs, size 3.75 mm (US 5), which I actually snapped in half and now are no longer cirs!?!
Pattern: Chile Con Yarne's Baby Viking Hat.
Modifications: Oh where, oh where to start? I cast on fifty-six (I think, it was some number divisible by eight) stitches instead of eighty. I knit the body of the hat for only and two and a half inches (as opposed to five inches) before starting to decrease. I decreased every row to make the hat more head shaped, based on my kid's lumpy head shape (which could prove to be problematic for a normal head-shaped baby but let's just ignore that). I knit the body of the hat double stranded to make it more stiff and able to hold up the horns. I used i-cord for the side strings on the flaps because my crochet chain was GAWDAWFUL. I didn't knit the "seven more rows of stockinette" for the horns because I was worried they would be to big and heavy to stand up if I made them that big (I knit three rows of stockinette instead). I also ended up picking up the stitches on the edge of the horns and using a three needle bind off because I could not seam them together without making a vomitous looking mess.
Time: 3 months.
Care: Hand wash, dry flat.

* Speaking of Crazy and gifts, I received yet another animal. A zebra. A black and white zebra. A black and white zebra just like the other black and white zebra we already have.

Comme Ci, Comme Ça

My husband is always pretty honest about my knitting projects ... he was the first one who said my fingerless gloves were really homeless lady and not New York City chic. And, when all is said and done, he usually seems to get it right. So when he said my lace cap looked funny, like a bastardized prayer cap men might wear in a mosque, well, I probably shouldn't have told him to fuck off. I probably should have started frogging the cap. But I didn't.



Maybe it is the brown of the cap with the brown of my hair, or maybe it is the shape of my large cranium, but whatever it is, it's not so hot on me.



Even making funny faces can't seem to make the cap less "Let's go Pray!'



Which is a damn shame because this cap, it's made from bison, "100% American Bison fiber." Or, in layman's terms, squishy, soft, yummy goodness. It feels lovely. Unfortunately, there is an inverse relationship between the way it looks on my head and the way it feels. I can honestly say it looks better on my dog as a beret than on my head as a cap. I am kind of wishing I never broke the tail off so that I could frog that hat and use the skein for something else. But I did break it off and feel kind of like I am committed. I guess I could just join the cap part of the skein with the leftover part of the skein if I happen upon a divine pattern.

The yarn was from last year's Rhinebeck haul and hails from Still River Mill. The pattern came with the yarn. The pattern itself was really simple. Knitting the pattern, less simple, as I'm sure TWG would acknowledge.

It calls for four US size six dpns, which totally did not work for me. I had needles falling and dropping and stitches sliding around and having to be moved from one needle to the next and it was bad. I used a lifeline at the end of the ribbing/beginning of the pattern and I totally needed it. Repeatedly. I tried two circs, but that also was suckalicious and required the lifeline. After ripping back the third or fourth time, I ended up going with one shorty (twelve inch) circ and knitting in the round. Once I did this I motored right along and never needed a lifeline again. In fact, I felt so comfortable knitting it this way, I didn't even bother putting a new lifeline in. So if you are going to make this cap, I recommend one short circular needle.

I did have an issue when it got down to the end. The directions read, All rows - *k2tog: repeat from * until there are 4 stitches left. With tapestry needle, thread the tail of yarn through the remaining stitch loops and tighten. When I did this (that is, knitting two together round and round until I only had four stitches left), I found the top looked gathered and not as polished as I would have liked. I don't remember the sample cap at Rhinebeck looking this way so I re-did this step three times. Each time I got the same effect. Either I misunderstood what they wanted me to do, or this is the look of the hat. Either way, eh.



Yarn: Still River Mill, Luxury Bison Down, 1 skein (125 yards/25 grams). I have a good hunk of yarn left. Maybe not enough for another hat, but a good amount nonetheless.
Needles: Susan Bates Circ, 12 inch length, size 4.25 mm (US 6)
Pattern: Buffalo Gal Lace Cap
Modifications: None. I did the pattern exactly as written.
Time: 6 days.
Care: Um, not really sure. "No special washing is needed, just treat like all other fine washables." WTF? "After each washing, your yarn will be softer, fuller, and have a beautiful golden halo." Great, but how do you recommend that I wash it?? Grr.

Lace Cap

I started the Buffalo Gal Lace Cap ...



I finished the Buffalo Gal Lace Cap ...



Now if I could just get a picture or two of it all finished and pretty on ME ...



Then I could move on and tell you about the trials and tribulations of my latest sock.