10oT: Chocolate Treats

This week's Ten on Tuesday topic, in homage to Valentine's Day, is your top ten favorite chocolate treats.  And well, let's be honest, there is only one truly phenomenal chocolate treat.  A chocolate treat that despite its commercialized processed foodieness is the king of all kings in the world and that, as we all know, is the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  May it be in the form of a Valentine's heart, an Easter egg, or a Christmas tree, it is the best.  The peanut butter is just the perfect amount of salty and sweet to compliment and bring out the delicious creamy goodness of the chocolate.  It is, perhaps next to the Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice Latte, the most perfect indulgent treat.
Now I know folk are going to want to pooh pooh this.  I mean it isn't organic, homemade, gourmet, or even slightly high end.  It is like the McDonald's of burgers.  BUT FOLKS ARE WRONG.  The Reese's Peanuty Butter Cup transcends its simple and humble and heck, even ghetto, origins. 

Now, in light of my almost eulogistic prose on the RPBC (as well as the size of my arse), you may find it hard to believe that I am not a huge chocolate lover.  In fact, when it comes down to it, I'll take white (itsnotreallychocolateIKNOW) chocolate over milk or dark any day of the week. Many chocolate things make me want to gag.  Like chocolate pudding.  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?  I mean come on, chocolate pudding?  People like this?  ARE THEY HIGH? I mean seriously, crack?  Chocolate pudding is to crack heads as Yoohoo is to pot heads?   In any event, there are some other chocolate(ish) things I do like. 



1) Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  You knew this gonna be number one.

2) Dunkin Donut's White Hot Chocolate.  It is currently off the menu, and this makes me sad.  Which is how I discovered ...

3) DD Coconut Hot Chocolate.  It sounded kind of gross but not so gross as to be repulsive.  So I have it a go.  Yum!  It's no white hot chocolate, but it's not too bad either.

4) Stop & Shop Bakery's Chocolate White Chocolate Chip Cookies.  I miss Publix and all of its sub sandwich goodness.  It does not, at least as far as I know, have these cookies though. I'm not sure what S&S does to these cookies, but when I need a sugar fix, these are a go to item.  And they are one of those foods where I can't eat just one.  For example, the night before last baby cravings set in and I needed these cookies.  My husband offered to go get them.  Only the fact that I have an OB appointment on Wednesday and did not want to explain a 15 lb weight gain stopped me.  Barely.  I caved today and am feeding some to my kids to mitigate any binging.

5) My Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies WITH PECANS.  I use the recipe that use to be found on the back of the Toll House Chocolate Chip bag.  I suspect the recipe is the same today, but mine is off of the back of the bag when a bag of chips was 16 oz., not 12 oz., so perhaps not.  And for the record, did they really think people wouldn't notice the smaller bag for the same cost?  Anyway, I use that recipe, then I add about two and a half cups of chopped pecans and I slightly undercook them.  They are really good. 

6) Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Brownie Mix. As far as boxed brownie mix goes, this stuff if the bombdiggity.  I like to add another cup of milk chocolate chips to the mix, even if I am leaving it as a plain brownie.  Actually I like to add a cup of milk chocolate chips and a cup and a half of pecans because we all know the salty nut MAKES the brownie, and consider it a plain brownie BUT there are those poor sad, palate-challenged, folks that don't "like" nuts in baked goods.  They also don't like RPBC so you just have to feel sorry for them and move on.  For what it is worth, if you're not adding nuts, this is the perfect basic brownie for which to add things like toffee bars or mint candy (break up candy into small bits, add half the brownie mix, then the candy, then the rest of the mix), or sea salt (add a little on top before baking and then once done cooking, a good bit more to top while cooling). 

7) Mudslide. I'm not sure how you are officially suppose to make these but I've got a version I like.  A lot.  I like to take some whole milk ... this is where having a toddler rocks.  They need whole milk and you can use some and not feel like an alcoholic slug for buying a gallon of the stuff.  Anyway, blend some whole milk, vodka (vanilla is nice but plain works), Kahula, a handful of white chocolate chips and ice.  And then, once you have it blending and the chips are no more, squirt in a whole load of chocolate syrup.  Feel free to be heavy handed with that chocolate syrup.  It hides the fact that you were heavy handed with the vodka.  Sometimes I add a Starbucks Via packet which adds some coffee flavor also helps mitigate things when you've gone a little over board with the vodka. 

8) Chocolate fondue.  Pineapple, strawberries, marshmallows, these are all things that do not suck when smothered in chocolate fondue.

9) Aero Milk Chocolate Bars. There are several versions out there, but I first had the Nestle version when studying at Oxford University.  Those chocolate bars filled with little airy holes make a delightful treat!  Kids like them too because you can tell them that they are worm holes. 

10) Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  You knew I was gonna count this chocolate perfection twice, right?

10oT: Knitting Spot

Today's Ten on Tuesday topic is 10 Things You Can See From Your Favorite Knitting Spot.  Years ago (back in 2006 ... woah!), I posted about my favorite knitting spots. At that time I was fancy free and had no kids. I could knit anywhere I wanted, when I wanted, however I wanted. I also had a fetish for the bathroom it seems? My apologies. Nowadays I can't even sit on the toilet without someone wanting to sit on my lap. I. KNOW. And also, more bathrooms? Really?!? Anyway, no one tells you this when you say you want to have kids. But be not as foolish as me, enjoy your lone bathroom time while you can! Anyway, I digress.

When I knit now, it is either at Starbucks on Wednesday night with my lady friends or it is on the couch after I've put the kids to bed. No longer is my venue chosen by style or ambiance, nope it is 100% easy access, drop where you're standing, comfort. Also known as the couch in my family room.  It's not as exciting as it use to be, I mean it is no Stiltsville, but it is functional.  So, 10 things I see when looking straight ahead, to the right, and to the left are ...


  
1) A current WiP: These are the skew socks. And, like the Turkish Bed Socks, they have an unusual construction. It's taken me several tries to get the sizing right but now that the left foot fits, I can move on to the right and (hopefully) motor down the home stretch.

2) The TV: Awww. Mark Harmon. How I love thee.

3) Kid Toys: They take up a third of the living room. At least that is what I try to limit them too.  I may be deluding myself.

4) Knitting Notions: I've recently separated my stitch holders into two containers, one for the closed kind and one for the removable kind. This pleases my OCD.

5) The TV Remote: You know, so I can pause on Mark Harmon when I'm using my mobile phone to take photos of my tv.

6) The Dog: Once the kids are in bed (the only time I can safely knit at home), I let the dog join me on the couch. We snuggle and reminisce about our day. Or she naps. 

7) My iPad: You can't see it in the photos but I have the pattern I'm working on in there.  Also, I  can check my email, facebook and pinterest. You know, the important things.

8) The Baby Monitor: Because even when I'm off the clock, I'm not.  Also, I get a kick out of eavesdropping on my kids.  J1 knows I do it but forgets and J2 is clueless.  They like to hatch up crazy plans and I like to thwart them.  I'm supportive that way.

9) Hand Sanitizer & Lotion: We've all been sick up in these parts (hence the nebulizer too) and so I've been sanitizing the heck out of everyone. And then lotioning them too. All that sanitizing is kind of drying.

10) The Phone: Yes, we do indeed have a landline.  And I use it. Call me old fashion, but I prefer it to my mobile phone.

10oT: Movie Addition

Today's Ten on Tuesday topic is "10 Movies You Want to See RIGHT NOW."  These can be any movie: not out yet, new release, old, or classic.  All movies count and can be included.

Now, I should preface this post by admitting that I am not a big movie watcher.  I like movies just fine, but I usually prefer the book, or any book.  My imagination typically pleases me more than someone else's . So, you may wonder, why am I choosing to dip my toes into this 10oT if it is not something I can sink my teeth into (and yes, I referred to a lot of body parts in that there sentence considering it isn't even about body parts.  Weird.). The answer is, um, well, just because.  So there!  Also, I have recently seen two movies, in a theater (I KNOW!), and I typed into my cell phone a list of movies, that based on the previews, sounded good so I actually do have something to say ...

1) The Hunger Games  Yes, yes, it is based on a Young Adult novel, kind of like Twilight but trust me, this ain't no Twilight.  I really want to see this movie.  Like right this very second. Now there is the problem of me reading the book, in all honesty, at least a dozen times.  I LOVED the book.  In fact, it so captured my imagination, I forgot that the characters were kids.  That being said, the pre-release hype of the movie is positive and well, if it is a dud, I will still love the book.

2) Twilight Breaking Dawn, Part 2  Having just mocked Twlight a mere sentence or six ago, it may seem stupid to say I'd like to see another Twilight movie.  But I have a reason.  The reason I want to see it and all of the horrid acting and gawdawful CGI effects is, well, because I saw the other three.  I'm invested.  I know this movie is going to be pretty terrible.  I'm hoping it is going to be so terrible, it is a bit campy.  And, if not, well, I hope some young underage beefcake has his shirt off so I can at least be a pervy old lady.

3) Safe House  I'm not a huge fan of Denzel Washington (though I did enjoy him in The Pelican Brief) and I don't find Ryan Reynolds unbelievably hot.  I did, however, like the trailer and I really got pulled in by the music during the trailer, so yah, I added it to my cell phone list.

4) GI Joe: Retaliation  Full disclosure: I saw this on my list and had absolutely ZERO idea what the hell it was.  A google search for the link lead to the trailer and hey, this looks like a nice brainless action flick!  It has The Rock, a man with nice physique and a fellow University of Miami alum, AND it has some odd version of Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes.  Good enough for me.

5) Carnage  I know two people, who do not know each other, that have seen this play in Boston.  They liked it.  So yah.  It is likely gonna hit close to home for this suburban stay-at-home-mom, but oh well, color me intrigued, I want to see it.  Being that it is basically an hour long, I would rather see it at home OnDemand than for $11 in a theater.

6) Shame  Uh, hello Michael Fassbender!  I suspect that this is one of those movies where I am going to be uncomfortable and squirming in my seat just waiting for the awkwardness to be over.  That being said Fassy has given some interviews which just warm the cockles of my  loins heart.  Heck, the man referred to letting his "beast" loose and destroying "the sweet shop" HOLY CANOLI!  It may be purple prose, but dayum, me likes!

And, that is the end of my cell phone list.  Which leads me to movies I haven't seen and are OnDemand ...

7) Moneyball  Brad Pitt, looking hot and not like a dirty hippie? Yum!

8) Columbiana A woman is a "stone cold assassin" ... yeah for female empowerment.  Also, I have some sort of twisted idea that it might be cool to be a cold, bad ass, killing machine.  You know, if you only killed really bad people. 

9) Horrible Bosses  Now I know this wasn't  huge hit (to put it nicely), but.  BUT, if you know me or read really old posts in this here blog, you know that I truly had a Horrible Boss.  A real wackado.  One who would leave you a present one day 'just because,' and then not talk to you for the following two weeks because you didn't say 'Hi!' when you passed her in the hall.  I mean I guess technically, she wasn't horrible so much as INSANE.  But still. I want to see this movie and laugh and say "WIMPS!  That ain't no horrible boss!"

Okay, right, well, I am now kind of stuck on number nine because nothing else appeals. Um ... hey look! Over there! Is that Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender?

Show & Tell

This week's Ten on Tuesday is Ten Things You Did This Weekend and guess what? I actually did ten things ... you know, other than sitting on the couch and catching up on the DVR!

1) Indulged in some Starbucks Shaken Iced Green Tea, caffeine and all!

2) A family field trip to Magic Wings, a butterfly conservatory in Massachusetts. Now, I suspect I might have mentioned it, oh like a gazillion times, but I really, Really, REALLY don't like bugs. At all. So why in the hell did it not occur to me that I might not like being swarmed by butterflies? It was like Hitchcock's The Birds, only with bugs. Kind of pretty, colorful bugs, but bugs nonetheless.

Despite the fact that my skin was crawling, I sucked it up for my kids. This is what is called AWESOME PARENTING (and probably the only example of such this weekend).

3) Next to the Bug House 'o Horrors is the Yankee Candle Flagship Store. We stopped there, where, it seems Santa is fond of the knitter folk as he decorated the top of one of his trees with yarn.

4) Late lunch/early dinner at Red Robin. Specifically, a Teriyaki Chicken Sandwich with a salad ... delish!

5) Cleaning up regurgitated Red Robin. Come on now, you didn't think it was all kitten and candy over here, did ya? Take one little girl with a hacking cough which leads to coughing fits, and throw in a belly full of food, and well yeah.

6) Knitting and unknitting a Moderne Baby Blanket,

7) Harvested all of the carrots in the garden. Which, even though they average about four inches long, is way more than we'll ever eat. Ever. Want some carrots?

8) BJ's ... the store, not the verb. Y'all ain't nuthin but a bunch of pervs!

9) Outfitted my eldest with el cheapo shirts from Old Navy. There was a sale. So now she has forty-three hundred long sleeved t-shirts. Of which she will probably only wear two. Despite proclaiming her love for each and every one in the store and again before I washed them. Because she totally likes to bust my chops. Of the joy of being three years old.

10) Repaired the stroller tire that EXPLODED in the car as we were driving to the Bug House 'o Horrors. What? Stroller tires don't explode? Bullshit! It sounded like a bomb went off as we were driving down the highway. I almost messed myself. But the kids were there in the car too so I kept it together. Oh, wait a minute, why I do believe that is another example of AWESOME PARENTING. Go me!

Olfaction

Another Tuesday, another chance to wow you with ten things! This week? Ten Favorite Smells and with that, we're off ...

1) Teen Spirit. COME ON. You had to see that coming a million miles away. A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido, YAH! I have no idea what Teen Spirit smells like ... locker rooms and desperation? Wait, I think that is the NFL. (Oh, and for the record, I realize that you will now have that song in your head for an eternity. You're welcome.)

2) Cookies baking. I suspect that this one is on everyone's list. Well, everyone that is you know, human.

3) L'Occitane Aromachologie Volumizing Shampoo and Conditioner. These are really flowery girly smelling (especially the shampoo, the conditioner is a but more muted) and I typically prefer more herbal smells for hair products. This stuff, however, wins me over. I remember using it at the Four Seasons hotel in Miami after my aunt died. I was sadder than hell, beat down and generally dog tired, but this shampoo/conditioner managed to perk me up a tad. When the smell wafted out as I scrubbed the shampoo in, I felt pampered, and in fact, when I use it now, the smell still is pampering to me.

4) A burning fireplace. But not mine. I can never really get my fireplace to send out that fireplace smell. Well except for the one time I forgot to open the flue and almost killed us all. But normally, when I am not burning my house down, I can't smell 'fireplace' in my own home. I can, however, crack my bedroom window as I am going to bed in the Fall and winter, and smell it from my neighbors.

5) Steaks on the grill. Because apparently I am, smellematically anyway, a pyromaniac.

6) Philosophy Amazing Grace. About a month or two ago I was at Sephora and there was a jug of Philosophy Amazing Grace hand lotion on the counter. I took a pump, rubbed it in, and was IMMEDIATELY transported back to Florida. There is something almost sunscreen-esque about the scent that makes me feel like home.

7) My newborn babies. When my kids were brand new, but you know, cleaned up, they had this delicious smell. Kind of like oatmeal? I dunno. I can't describe the smell, and suspect that there is some sort of biological pheromone thing going on to help a hormonally wrecked new mom glom onto her new baby. Whatever the reason, my babies both smelled Del.I.Cious when they were brand new.

8) Sunshine. I remember as a kid, coming inside and my mom giving me a hug and saying I smelled like sunshine. At the time, I thought it odd. Now that I am older, I know what she meant. A day in the sun has a scent. A yummy scent. And it is not body odor, you know, in case you were worried.

9) Coffee. I suspect this is a common one. But that is okay because coffee, coffee smells gooood. I love the smell of coffee so much, that after a night of stitching and bitching at our local Starbucks, I don;t mind walking out smelling like coffee. In fact, I like it!

10) Beer breath. I know, that is weird. The opposite of baking cookies and coffee. Really weird. I am not sure what whacked childhood trauma it taps into, but I find there to be something sexy about beer breath. Mind you, the owner of the beer breath can't be falling down drunk or it turns from sexy to repulsive in seconds. But in the right circumstances, I find beer breath hot.

Not Half Bad

This week's Ten on Tuesday ... 10 Things to Like About March. Wow, that is kind of hard. My husband is a big fan of listing things he likes about months and even has a favorite month that DOES NOT CONTAIN HIS (OR MY) (OR THE KIDS') BIRTHDAY. I love him more than lobster, but I would swear this is weird. Apparently though, not so much? People seem to categorize this type of stuff and I had no idea. Anyway, when the husband talks about months he likes there are things like pitcher and catchers, spring training, bonfires and FOOTBALL! But me, I say, meh. I like seasons ... hello Winter, goodbye sweat ... but months in particular don't turn my crank. That being said, I am up for the challenge. Or at least I think I am. Let's see.

Ten (I hope) Things to Like About March

Number 1: My wedding anniversary! Not only did I marry my husband in March, we actually met for the first time in March, nineteen years ago. HOLY COW. Nineteen years. Hard to believe I met my husband when I was three years old [snort]. Anyway, this year is our seventh wedding anniversary and so I need to go find some copper and wool. Yah, wool. My husband is married to knitter so how easy is that for him? I mean, obviously, I could knit him something from wool, which could be easy and make me a nice and loving wife, but HA, No. We are talking about me here.

Number 2: Spring. My anniversary is on the Vernal Equinox and so I know for a fact that Spring starts in March. Truthfully, I'm not so into Spring. Lots of rain and mud and muck when I'd rather have the snow. I do, however, like flowers and I also like trying to grow veggies in my death beds plant beds, all of which require Spring like weather, so yippie Spring!

Number 3: One of my favorite (and embarrassing to admit to) television shows, Nikita, has a few weeks off before it's next new show. While I am irked that I have been left on a cliff for weeks, that means there is going to be a new Nikita in March ... yeah March! HELL. That was a total lie! I just looked up the link for Nikita and in doing so saw the preview for the next new show on APRIL 7. Hell and damn!

Number 4: March is a short word to write. So you know, if you are in school and have to write the date out, and like, spell it, then March is MUCH BETTER than, say, December. There are three whole extra letters in December.

Number 5: For most of March kids are back in school which means less rush hour traffic. I don't really deal with rush hour traffic anymore, but I remember getting annoyed when school was out and all of these extra people, extra people who were in my way doing stupid fun things while I was going to work, would be clogging up the works. So Woot! Woo! March! Go with your lighter traffic load!

Number 6: I like the cold. I like long sleeves. I like scarves. That being said, I also like skirts and so March is kind of a compromise for this conflicting set of likes. I can wear a long sleeve shirt with a scarf. And a skirt. My legs are blindingly white, but they are exposed to natural light which is kind of nice. There is a counter-argument to be made for no skirts and no shaving of the legs, but we will just ignore it for now.

Number 7: Each Day in March has some observance. A few of my favorites: 3/5 Multiple Personality Day; 3/7 National Crown Roast of Pork Day; 3/8 Be Nasty Day; 3/14 National Pi Day (Why? Because it is 3.14, the value of Pi); 3/28 Something on a Stick Day; and of course, 3/31 Bunsen Burner Day.

Number 8: March Madness. Now let me preface this by saying I don't like basketball. Not at all. And living in a state where Women's Basketball is King (or perhaps Queen) in the sport hierarchy, well, that sucks when you like College Football and even baseball. Howsoever, I LOVE MARCH MADNESS! I love filling out the brackets and watching the drama unfold. The brackets appeal to the orderly OCD part of my brain and the drama, well duh, who doesn't like drama. Last year I let a not-even-two-years-old Jillian fill out a bracket. All of her picks revolved around Sesame Street which is why she is probably the only person in the world who pick Murray State (Murray is a character on Sesame Street) to win any game at all. I mean come on, how great is it that?!?

Number 9: St. Patrick's Day. My husband is an Irishman named Patrick. So I must like this day, as per our marital contract. And well, his day is in March, so you go March!

Number 10: The last snow storm of the 'year' is typically in March. Not to beat a dead horse, but I like the cold and I like the snow. Usually March has the final-hurrah snow storm. It's never much, but it is there. In fact, of my last six wedding anniversaries, three have been snow-filled, so those seem like decent odds for March snow.

Yes, I know, I WAS stretching it. [ETA: I just read this list and realized I forgot March's Spring knitting patterns ... D'oh! That is better that traffic. And here, Easter candy! Geez, I forgot a couple of goodies!] Maybe there aren't a lot of awesome things to love about March, but. BUT. But there are some good things, I mean come on, Multiple Personality Day? I like it. Me too.

Oscar The Grouch

Today's Ten on Tuesday topic is Oscar flicks. Unfortunately my husband has never won an Oscar so I don't have any pictures of my, now deceased, cat with an Oscar. I do, however, have an old picture of Ernest with one of my husband's Emmys so, that is what I am using. Pictures are nice with blog posts. And both are awards for some sort of achievement related to the media, so let's pretend this makes sense and move on. Ten on Tuesday. Movies you like. Specifically your top ten favorite Oscar winning films. Unfortunately The Academy and me, we do not agree, because my favorite movies? Not Oscar winners. Pulp Fiction? Nope! The Hunt for Red October? Nada. Dangerous Liaisons? Negative Red Dog Leader. Steel Magnolias, Return of the Jedi, Taken? No, ni, non! I do realize that part of the problem is that I am not a huge movie buff. I like movies just fine, but I'm not the type of person that enjoys watching the same movie over and over. A book, if I like it, I will re-read immediately. But a movie, not so much. That being said, I do enjoy watching the Oscars, while eating cheese fondue and betting on who is going to win. So, in an effort to comply with the topic at hand, I went through some past winners and decided which, of the winners, were my favorites (and having typed this, I realize that this was probably what most people are doing because really, how many people's favorite movies won Oscars? I am thinking, not many). And then I came up with a list of, well a list anyway. So here we go ...

Not Quite 10 Oscar Winning Movies That Didn't Stink
in my humble opinion

1. Slumdog Millionaire: Okay, this one could actually be elevated to movies I like. Not only did it not stink, it was quite enjoyable. Well all but that bit where the kid was swimming in refuse. Swimming in shit? Not enjoyable.
2. The Departed: This was also really good. Also, as a bonus Leonardo DiCaprio actually looked manly (unlike in say .. Titanic, which eh, blech and booo).
3. Gladiator: I don't care for Russell Crowe, but he looked kinda hot, so that helps this emerge from the pack. And, despite the fact that I do not like this movie, I cry whenever I see the end. Which, is actually quite often as it is always on t.v. and my husband always stops to watch it. Anyway, since it can make me cry, it gets a nod from me.
4. Shakespeare In Love: This movie didn't suck. I saw it in the theater and didn't want to demand my money back. I haven't watched it again, mind you, but I remember thinking it was okay. Well, but for Gwyneth Paltrow. Ms. Goop may be pretty, but her personality seems so annoying and it leaches into her movies.
5. Silence of the Lambs: This movie scares me. Still. I've seen it, or bits and pieces of it, a million times and yet, I am always scared. I chalk that up as a sign that the movie doesn't stink. Also, there are oodles and oodles of great lines ... PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET. Enough said.
6. Amadeus: My husband loves this movie. Me, I like the crazy laugh they gave Mozart. It makes me laugh. A lot. The rest of the movie? I couldn't tell you a single thing about it. But the laugh? Total winner.
7. Patton: I know. This is an oddball choice. I watched it in high school in my history class and other than the fact that it was seemed like the longest movie ever, I really enjoyed it. This is odd since I have no love, or memory, for history. But there yah go. If it pleased my sixteen year old self, it must not stink.

Bed Side Table

When life gives you two kids and yet another snow day, well, if you're me, you gather The Little Mermaid, an exersaucer, and some goldfish crackers and then you hide yourself in the office with coffee. Lots of coffee. Then you dig through your e-mail and see that the Ten on Tuesday topic is 10 Things On Your Bedside Table and figure, I've got two hundred things on my bedside table so this is no problemo! I did give thought to cleaning off my bedside table before photographing it. Heck, I even thought about giving the dust a swipe, but then I decided authenticity would be more appreciated. Okay, that is totally not true. Though I appreciate authenticity when people share slivers of their lives, the reality is that I am vain enough to want to clean off my bedside table before sharing it with the internets. Unfortunately my kids care not about my vanity but instead about MORE PRETZELS WOMAN. So the pictures were taken slapdash and you get a glimpse of the real mess that greets me every morning, dust and all.

Without further adieu ...


1) My lamp. Something about a bedside lamp screams ADULT. Or this could just be because I didn't have a bedside lamp until, oh, about two years ago. I love this lamp and when my table isn't loaded down with stuff, it is like a little happy acrylic beacon that makes me smile. That being said, this lamp is a smidge obsolete now because my alarm clock (my husband's cast-off because he would send it flying whenever he hit snooze) has a built in night light. Nonetheless, I like the lamp and my husband has a matching one on his side, so it's staying. Note that the shade is once again straight. I noticed it was a bit wonky after I took the pictures and fixed that immediately. OCD? Me? No, why do you ask?

2) Two baby monitors. Two kids, two monitors, two reasons why I don't get eight straight hours of sleep.

3) Hand sanitizers. There are three different types of alcohol based hand sanitizers on my nightstand. It's not because I am some freaktastic germaphobe (I like to lick toilets as much as the next gal), but because of the kids. Inevitably someone is sick and since I am beckoned for binky retrieval or blanket fluffing (no, I am not kidding, it is ridiculous) at least once in the night, chances are I am encountering a snot factory or am one myself. The hand sanitizer is one of the ways I try to keep the snot factory to a factory of one, either by sanitizing myself before I attended to my charges or sanitizing myself afterwards.

4) Hand Lotions. All that alcohol hand sanitizer? It dries my shit out. So I have lots of lotions. These are usually lotions that are not my favorite smell good stuff, but more utilitarian. Currently I am a fan of a Gold Bond tube. It is made for feet, but I noticed that when I slap it on the feet at bedtime, my feet AND my hands look better in the morning. Win-win.

5) Stack o' books. These drive my husband INSANE. They are a leaning tower of trashy romance novels that I love and when I want to unwind before bed, these are my go to reads. Each has been read, at least, a dozen times, and each one I still thoroughly enjoy.

6) Borrowed books. There are two borrowed books. First, The Hunger Games, which I checked out from the library and HOLY GOODNESS! I've had it for two weeks and read it three times. It is fluff but oh-so-delightfully-good. Good enough that I am going to be getting my own copy once the library gets its back. The other is the new Susan Elizabeth Phillips book, Call Me Irresistible. It isn't as laugh-out-loud funny as some of her old ones but it was good enough that I started it at 10:00pmish and ended up going to bed at 2:00amish because I read it straight through.

7) Synthroid. You are suppose to take thyroid medicine in the morning and on a very empty stomach and that means nothing for an hour after you take it. So no coffee for an hour each morning after you take it. Ha! And, uh, not gonna happen. I leave the stuff on my bedside table and take it when someone wakes me up at some unholy hour, or, I take it the second I wake up. This lets me mainline coffee all the sooner. Also, Snythroid makes a good rattle when you have to bring a baby to bed and want to doze a little while longer. Unless you have a destroyer baby who can open child-proof medicine bottles. If that is the case then you might find yourself half-asleep, in a rain shower of itty bitty synthroid pills and wondering what the heck is going on. FYI, this is like a shot of pure adrenaline to the heart and really wakes you up quick.

8) Water bottle. Needed for the synthroid as you take it with "a full glass of water" but not "a full glass of coffee."

9) Stain stick. My laundry basket is just around the corner in the closet so this is the most convenient place to leave the stain stick and the best hope for me to remember to use it. Which I rarely do. Though I really should. Me = slob ∴ stain stick necessary.

10) Note pad & pen. Every night when I crawl into bed, I think of a dozen things I need to do the next day. And, every morning when I wake up, well, I can't remember them. So the pads and pens are suppose to be easily accessible so I can write stuff down. Typically the pen won't work or I am under the covers and so they never get used. But I leave them there. Hope springs eternal.

Ten on Tuesday

I almost missed it. Two on Tuesday almost passed me by, again AGAIN! It is a good thing I decided to put off working on things that need to be worked on (Me: What about Joba for a girl, you know, like Joba Chamberlain? Boo: Are you high?) and decided to fart around on the computer. Otherwise you would never have the joy of learning about ...

Ten Things I'd Fix in My Home (if I had the time and money)

10. Two words: New. Kitchen.

9. Two (more) words: New. Bathrooms.

8. Hire someone to paint the living room (damn you cathedral-esque ceilings that our ladder can't reach).

7. Expand the front area of house to make the dining and living rooms bigger while creating a front porch.

6. Even out the back yard and put up a fence.

5. Use the fence to keep our new, in-ground, uber deep and long swimming pool with an attached hot tub/jacuzzi safe from intruders.

4. Replace the subflooring under the hardwood floors.

3. Add a fireplace in the family room ... right after we rip out the gawdaful faux wood paneling.

2. Build an addition as part of the kitchen remodel that also includes a master suite.

1. Install a winch and pulley system to pull my car up the driveway when it is super snowy and icy.

Geeze, after reading this, I wonder why we are still living in our house. Oh right, because we don't have the time and money to do these things. Duh!

And thus concludes my farting around.

Objectively Creepy

I was going to regale you with tales of Clapotis and of how I am this close to be done, which isn't really all that close, but it sure does feel like it. Especially since I am decreasing which means each row gets a little bit shorter and quicker. And, I was going to tell you about how I am not liking the socks I started and poll people for patterns that work for variegated yarn, patterns that wouldn't be obscured by the colors in the yarn. I was going to throw in some Ten on Tuesday action and tell you about where I'd take a tourist in my town. I was even going to fess up to being a cheater and having to look at local tourist info for some ideas because crikey, my town is small and not chock-a-block full of adventure. But then. But then, I came to work and found another present on my desk.



And I thought ... Well. I'll be damned. I guess saying, "Stop! You are going overboard. It's too much. No more! Mo mas!" wasn't really clear. I guess I was not specific enough with the whole, "Seriously, I really appreciate your generosity, but you have to stop." I was going to make a big fat joke and laugh and haha. I took the picture above for the blog and figured maybe I should hold a contest and if you guessed the gift I'd give you something fun. Like a stick in the eye. Or yarn. Or something else if you were a non-knitter. Hardy har har. Fun fun fun. A contest! The whole contest idea being my own token way to balance my karma for being so bitchy about the constant stream of presents that, under normal circumstances would be a sweet, kind, generous thing but under the circumstances of coming from Crazy was just plain weird. But then. But then I opened the card and it said this.

Honestly, that freaks me out just a bit. As Boo said, it is objectively creepy. It isn't just odd or uncomfortable or creepy because it is from Crazy, who is crazy. Or because it is from the managing attorney, someone not my friend, who I am not close to, my boss. It is just creepy. Period. My life is a Law & Order episode waiting to happen.