Monday, December 11, 2006

I'm Here!

I know! I know! I've been silent for way too long. I could go into great detail about how I had this little thing that was nothing that turned into a small thing that was still suppose to be nothing but that then required minor outpatient surgery which morphed into forty-five minutes of hell with two doctors poking around and umpteen more trips back to the doctor's office and then a trip to the ER because *eww* infection. Or was it? And, I could tell you about the really young doctor ER who was like, way younger than me dude, and who hadn't yet learned all of the intricacies of bedside manner and at one point uttered, "I'm not saying you're dirty" to which my husband replied, "Dirty Whore!" in a funny accent which typed looks really bad but if you were there was quite funny. And, I won't tell you about how I almost emasculated Doogie Howser when he decided to poke at my boo-boo while he was basically straddling my legs (note to all doctors - legs kick when a person feels sharp pain, stay clear of legs when poking at folks). I won't tell you all about that, because, instead, I'd like you to see what I did while I was messing with this medical stuff ...

Yep! I knitted. I even did it while I was hooked up to an i.v. Go me! Knitting while in the hospital (or waiting at the doctor's office) is a great way to pass time. In fact, the doctors were more perturbed by my four hour wait for a CT scan than I was. Well maybe not MORE perturbed, but it was pretty darn close. I was just knitting away and the time, it flew! I may have not noticed that they forgot me in a room for over an hour because my knitting was so engrossing. Oh, and I was high on morphine too! That may have helped - the time passing, not my knitting. Because yarn overs and slipped stitches, they can be tricky when you are surfing the morphine superhighway.

Morphine and it's buddy Vicodin, they have been having fun with me. My Christmas decorations, however, have not. All this medical stuff has mucked with my schedule. You see, I have people, like several of them, coming over to MY HOUSE for a party. Right now, it looks like Christmas threw up in my living room. There are ornaments on my couches and stockings on the floor. I think I may have drunkenly placed a wreath in the middle of the stairs, because, really, we all need an obstacle course, on the stairs, while we are whacked out on pain killers! I need to gather my wits and pull it together because these people that are coming over, they've never lived with me. They may not understand my appreciation for the avant garde. They might not agree with me that cat hair, when blown to and fro and gathered in a large statuesque ball in the corner, is abstract art. This could be bad.

Truth be told, the Christmas vomit, that was not exactly the result of pain medication. That was all me, having constant interruptions by electrical shortages and doctors and the like. I wish I could blame it on narcotics. In fact, however, I have been trying to keep it together and I was even sober enough to go to TWG's crafting party. It was a really great time. A lot of fun. And, contrary to what you may think I was NOT high when I made these:

Yes, the "snowflake ornament" looks like a ship's wheel, and the J might look like a B, but I WAS NOT HIGH! My snowman, he looks high, but in a good way. I am sure he is a friendly drunk.


Claire said...

WHAT HAPPENED??? Are you okay?? Please, most of us & Cat Hair? OLD Buddies. :) Besides, why do you think they call it FUR-niture? ;)

Claire said...

OH, and I love your crafts - I'm SOOO JEalous!!!