Monday, October 26, 2009

One Quarter

One ruffle down, seventeen gazillion to go.

But that is okay because I saw a completed Osprey at the Webs booth at Stitches East and I liked it. Which, you know, since I am knitting one, is a good thing.

Speaking of Webs and Stitches East, I was amazed to see it carried Socks That Rock (who knew? It's not on the website) and that there was no pandemonium regarding same, unlike The Fold at Rhinebeck which has been uber jammed for the last four years I have been. Why is The Fold's STR so much more popular than Webs? Do they coat it in crystal meth?

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Due to poor planning on my part, this past Thursday I found myself at Walgreens, at noon (instead of at home, where I really needed to be, feeding and napping my human), in search of a birthday card to go in a gift that had needed to be mailed two days earlier. Had I not called to apologize for my lateness and said that I was mailing the gift that day, I could have continued procrastinating, but no. I opened my pie hole and shoved in my foot, and thus, found myself shopping at an inopportune moment. Nonetheless, I knew I was working on borrowed time and I was trying to hurry. I tossed Lady Bean in a cart, grabbed my purchases, including the card, and paid. And at this point all was well, with only minimal fussing from LB. I went to the cart return area, by the door, and prepared to head to the parking lot when I made a stupid, STUPID, mistake. I (did I mentioned STUPIDLY?) asked LB if she wanted me to carry her or if she wanted to walk. She opted to walk. Our rule is simple, you walk, you hold my hand. She knows this. She, however, was hungry and tired and wanted to walk sans Mommy and her handholding self. When told this was not a choice, she threw herself down on the floor and threw a fit of the highest order. There was screaming and tears and kicking and flailing. I stared at her in a kind of defeated and resigned way and in between wails repeated that if she wanted to walk she needed to hold my hand, all the while offering her my hand. She wailed, "NOOOOOOO!" and kicked and flailed some more. Good times. But wait! They get better.

It was at this point where an elderly gentleman in the line to pay raises his voice to tell me that I was an idiot. "She's obviously tired. She is screaming and throwing a tantrum because she needs a nap." Then, to the lady next to him, "That little girl needs a nap." And then back, loudly, to me, "You need to take her home and get her some sleep." After looking at him with my mouth agape, I replied, "Huh. Now I get elder abuse," and then I scooped up my screaming kid, two bags of crap and walked out. The End.

Okay, I didn't say that, but I wished I had. Dude, my kid is having a fucking meltdown. In the middle of a store. Blocking the exit. I know there is a problem. Thanks Captain Obvious. I mean, really? Do you honestly think you are helping the situation? Offering useful information? Meaningful insight? I'm just saying, THIS is why people beat up old people.

Friday, October 16, 2009


Tomorrow I shall be at Rhinebeck touching a whole lot of yarny goodness despite the cold, wet weather. I'll be up at five o'something (actually, considering my insomnia, I will probably up at 4:51 a.m., the time at which my goddamn internal clock has reset itself) and ready to meet my homies at 6:30 a.m., well, after I stop at Starbucks because even though I am on the decaf, I still get a perk from the coffee goodness. I am assuming Starbucks is open that early. Huh. Maybe I should check that out. In any event, I am looking forward to Rhinebeck, even in my technically full-term preggers, waddling, sciatic state. In fact, even with me being me and the weather being the weather, the only downside I am seeing is that Lady Eleanor won't be making it. She is perfect for the weather, being that she is basically a horse blanket, but not-so-perfect for the occasion of wanting to be comfortable and unencumbered with shit. As you can see from the pictures, she is BIIIIGGGGG. I had kind of hoped to wear her, get pictures at Rhinebeck and use them for my nine month late FO post. Since it's not going to happen, I'll just do my FO post now.

The fringe is probably my favorite part. Makes me think of fishing ... stuff. Weird, huh? Nonetheless, that is what initially turned me on to this project. I loved the knotty goodness.

As I recall, the pattern requires one strand of yarn for each fringe, but I doubled or tripled it. I wanted substantial fringe, and being that the blanket shawl is so big and substantial, I think this was a good idea. The big substantialness is both good and bad. Yes, Ellie is cozy. But she is bulky. Heck, she totally hides my baby belly.

There is no using this as a scarf. When I tried, I looked like a woman in a dysfunctional birka. It doesn't go over my head, but damn if it doesn't try. She also is so heavy that if you move your, well, anything, the weight of the shawl shifts and down she falls. Being that I had no photographer, I was kinda stuck in weird, stiff poses in front of the mirror. When I sneezed, well, I had to start all over trying to get her up and on since she slithered to the ground. I suspect the the major reason for the bulk and heft was my yarn choice. I did make the shawl bigger, but I am bigger so my body should hold her up. At least that makes sense in my head. In any event, my yarn was stiff and bulky and I think that it gave Ellie a little too much body.

The good thing about this bulky yarn is that the wrong side is just as pretty as the right side, and at first blush, it is hard to tell the wrong from the right.

Overall I like Ellie. She used a lot of yarn. A. LOT. OF. YARN. Well, my version did anyway. But I like her and will futz around the house with her all winter long. And, should I come into some money to buy A. LOT. OF. YARN., I would make her again (and again).

Yarn: Noro Silk Garden Chunky, Color 8, Lot A, 28 skeins.
Needles: Addi Circs, size 6 mm (US 10)
Pattern: Lady Eleanor from Scarf Style
Time: Two months.
Care: Dry clean.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Right now my husband is in Las Vegas. Without me. Thus, the awesomeness of him being in Vegas is slightly less awesome as far as I am concerned. But then, I am selfish like that. I suppose if he comes home with a several thousand dollars extra, or even a few honeys, I'll re-evaluate my position, but for now I am merely at "Yeah for him." I'm glad he is off having fun with his bud, his boy, his manfriend, but I'd rather him be here having fun with me. In any event, he is gone and I have been single-parenting. I thought it was totally going to suck, but actually it has not been as terrible as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong, each day has had it's share of drama, or trauma (think worm in tub, fall off of landing, and rabid deer), but all in all, it hasn't been that bad. What has been bad is the pain in my butt. Literally, I have pregnancy induced (at least I hope that it is from The Deuce and not something else) sciatica. Which sounds kind of benign but in fact causes me such pain that I end up frozen in queer ass positions and looking like a total toolbag. Mind you, I could care less about looking like a toolbag, I like to think this is one of the skills I excel at, but it really feels like adding insult to injury when you are stuck, hunched over, with your arse half in and half out of the car.

On the upside, sitting on the couch knitting? It doesn't cause me excruciating pain so I have made quite a bit of progress on Osprey. Well, quite a bit for the me as of late, which is to say that I am almost done with the long band bit. I still have an inch (which should get done tonight as I finish out the DVR'd Say Yes to the Dress - LOVE. THAT. SHOW. Want to get married again. Took out my wedding dress to put it on for shits and giggles!) and then I am on to the ruffles which is more than two-thirds of the scarf. But still. Progress. Which I need to make since in five or so weeks I need to start another C'mas stocking.

Which brings me to a question: Do you think I should buy and knit another one of the Googleheims kits? I loved and hated Lady Bean's stocking. Stocking? Pretty, though possibly cursed. Company that put the stocking kit together? Less than ideal. Obviously I have learned my lesson as far as getting the stocking wet, which I shall NEVER. EVER. DO. AGAIN. So I don't foresee any problems with the stocking itself. No problem with the stocking means no need to deal with the company. On the other hand, do I really want to support this company? Give it my (or rather, my husband's) hard earned cash? Especially since I was told I would be given a free replacement stocking and instead got bupkis. What do you think?

Wednesday, October 07, 2009


When I looked and saw that I had poop under my fingernail? That's when I knew the day was taking a down turn.

Saturday, October 03, 2009


Why make a decision when you can start a(nother) new project?

Note that I am making (or intending to make, at present, right now, who knows with my current knitting ADD if I will stick with it) this scarf DESPITE the fact that the model has crimped hair.

Yah, crimped friggin hair. Which, incidentally, looks a lot like the base of the scarf thus far.

Thursday, October 01, 2009


I'm writing today from the basement of my local hospital.* I'm here for an NST (a routine non-stress test for The Deuce) and not some calamity. Considering my luck, or lack there of, lately, clarification of my visit is probably helpful. Anyway, I'm here relaxing with my knitting and my CrackBaby and have a dilemma with my ugly recycling bag. Instead of making an actual decision, I thought I'd ponder my options out loud, well on the internet, via the itty bitty phone keyboard. In other words, I really am not feeling like making a decision. Part of my problem is that though the bag is indeed an ugly creation, I want to try and minimize the ugly.

At present, I have used two balls of yarn, one orange and one gray, and I have two balls of yarn left, again one orange and one gray. My dilemma is which of those to use next. Should I use my entire second ball of grey next, making the middle all grey; thus, having the bottom and top/handle all orange and not really striped. This might look unsymmetrical and odd (because the base of the bag is orange and only a row or two of the body part is orange and so when full, the orange on the bottom would be a lot less showy). Or, should I do orange next and have the top and handle all gray? This would be striped but may be striped in an odd way, again because of the only minimal orange at the bottom body part of the bag.

I realize that there is a third, and obviously least desirable in work involved, option. It would be to throw in some orange, say a round or two, then use all of the gray and finally finish up with more orange. This would add some orange in the middle balancing out the bottom and the top orange bits. I'm not sure I am slick enough to make the orange segments even, but they would be more even than with the other two options. I think. End-weaving wise, this would suck. So the question is, would the, albeit minor, aesthetic improvement be worth the extra effort. I'm not sure.

*But I am posting from home since I can't seem to post pictures to blogger via my phone. I am technologically unsavvy.