Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloweenie

Another day of Halloween fun, another opportunity to embarrass Baby Girl some more!

Yeah! Baby Girl was not being cooperative; she refused to stand (or sit) still for the photo ops! She kept saying, "Mom! Stop it! You're drivin' me batty!" (ba dum bum bum)

And, since it is Halloween, I'd like to take this opportunity show you what has scared me to death:

This is scary, you might think. Let me ask, what do you see here?
  • A) The never-ending-sweater-of-doom (i.e., the world's largest sweater ever with more than a gazillion stitches)?
  • B) The Jaywalkers that will never be completed because the sweater sucks up all knitting time? Or,
  • C) My first ever grievance. A grievance wherein some [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] client, filed a complaint against me for not helping him with something we don't do?
  • D) All of the above.
If you chose D, you'd be correct. Tonight I think I will be ingesting my glucose not in the form of candy, but instead in the form of vodka.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Shizzle De Izzle

You ever dress your dog up and subject to her to public humiliation? I STRONGLY recommend it.

Several weeks ago when I was picking up Baby Girl from daycare at Doggie In The Window we were asked if we would participate in a costume contest. After securing Boo's somewhat-less-than-ecstatic approval ("I don't have to go with y'all do I?"), we signed up. I had millions of costume ideas (bride, devil, poodle), but none were fantaboulous. As the contest drew near, I finally settled on her costume (and convinced Boo to go to the party with us). Let me introduce you to the new and improved Snoop Dogg:

Baby Girl was not pleased. She hung her head in shame.

In fact, she even threatened to fry a small child with her laser eyes if he didn't help secure her escape.

Boo, he was somewhat skeptical. "The inherent flaw in our costume is that we are in the white-est middle-aged part of the state." Uh hello, 50 Cent is practically our neighbor. "Yah know, if Snoop isn't well received, you could change her into 'work out dog.'" Nonetheless, we, um, well, me, I was committed. I was confident that our homemade costume would rock. That is, until I saw some of the competition which included ...

I was sure we were doomed. In fact, true to Boo's predictions we were told that our "peace sign" was cool and referred to as Snoopy. In the end, however, cuteness and originality paid off - WE WON! First friggin place! Boo-Yah! Thrilled with the win, Baby Girl was true to character and ended up behind bars for a bit:

From DITW we went to the Granby dog park. We thought it was just a Halloween party with dogs in costume but it turns out they were having a costume contest too. Baby Girl re-suited up ("Mom, you suck. If I could get the gat from my back pocket I would shoot you").

And there was more strong competition ...

But she won, AGAIN. Most creative or most original (or something to that effect). Despite hating ("Oh how I hate you human!") every minute of the costume wearing, Baby Girl was a champ. She walked away with a day at the spa (me = jealous), treats, and some new toys, and boy was she tuckered out ...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Righteous Indignation

In the word's of Stewie ...

I was balancing my check book when I noticed that a charge from The Corner Pug was off. I had recorded the charge as $27.54 but was actually charged $29.55. Off by only $2.01, I was uncertain what, if anything I should do. I mean it isn't a huge amount of money, right? But there is the principle of the thing. How much effort did I want to expend for $2.01? I thought about for a few minutes and decided to call my bank. After a seemingly endless eternity, I finally got a live human being that told me that 1) restaurants and bars are notorious for having higher charges (either the staff intentionally gives themselves higher tips figuring no one really looks or they get a pre-approval for the highest amount they think you would add in for the tip and never go back and change the amount), and 2)I needed to call the restaurant and deal with them. I figured I was s.o.l. and would never see my $2.01; nonetheless, I decided to call the restaurant and see what if anything they would do.

To make a long story short, the receipt showed that I left a $4.60 tip, a 20% tip on my $22.94 bill. The waiter, however, gave himself a $6.61 tip, a (basically) 30% tip. WTF? The manager reviewed the receipts, found mine, verified this, and agreed to credit my card back the $2.01. We hung up with me being satisfied that I was getting my money back.

But (isn't there always a but?) it started to annoy me that the manager never apologized for the fact that his employee screwed up or STOLE $2.01 from me. He seem to think it was no big deal. Now maybe it was inadvertent, although the 4 and the 6 are not even close on the number pad of either a computer or a cash register, and maybe the waiter goofed, but you would think that the manager would at least give me an apology, a "sorry for the inconvenience." But nope, nothing. I realize that good customer service is now the punchline for a joke and not a reality, but it still burns my ass that the guy, the manager, the one who I think actually owns the place since he is always there, couldn't even offer me a luke warm, half-assed, apology.

Random Product Endorsement II

Y'all may remember my previous random product endorsement. Well guess what? I've got another one! The things I try for you!

This is the best flavored popcorn I've ever had (or, that I can remember having as I am sure I have thought that the popcorn I was eating right then in the past was the best but I just can't remember so there ya have it). It is a candy apple flavor and it is delish! There is the perfect blend of crunch and mush with the popcorn, nuts, and gooey coating. The salty from the nuts and the sweet from the gooeyness also blend perfectly. There is a slight hint of cinnamon that somehow just works. Though it has apple flavor, it 1) is not overwhelming; and, 2) has no discernible chunks of crunchy apple. The gooey coating, though gooey, does not have excessive stick-in-your-teethedness. Yum!

My husband picked this up and offered me a bite foolishly thinking that I would not love it as much as he did because I am not a lover of the apple. Foolish Boy! It was so good that he repeatedly smacked my hand as I reached over to try to get another kernel of goodness. I believe he may have even used the trite, "You'll ruin your supper!" in an attempt to ward of my advances.* The day he bought it, I took these pictures. That night, he left the container on the desk by the computer. I'm not admitting anything, but let me just say that the next day, the container and its contents - gone. Vanished. Poof.

So, if you happen to see this popcorn (I believe Boo got it at Target, but I am not one hundred percent sure), I HIGHLY recommend it. It makes a great snack or a great (if not wholly nutritious) meal (not that I ate it for dinner or anything because, you know, it wasn't mine, and eating someone's popcorn as a meal, not just a bite here or there, especially without his permission, well that would be mean).

(Note that in this picture about half is already missing because we ate it before I could even take a picture!)

* This is the dumbest saying ever. First, supper? No, it is dinner. But moving on, how am I going to ruin my supper/dinner exactly? I might ruin my appetite, but the actual meal, not gonna ruin it.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Fall Is In The Air

Since it is getting cooler, it seemed like the right time to tackle my first sweater. So, I signed up for a sweater knitting class and I picked out a nice soft yarn in a scrumptious rust color.

It has some acrylic mixed in with the kidmohair, but this is OKAY. This is my very FIRST sweater and I wanted to keep the yarn cost under $200. This is SMART. I mean, if I muck this up, I don't want it to be a $500 learning experience, capiche? And, if I keep saying things like this, maybe I will become more okay with the acrylic portion. I hope.

In any event, one thing that really appealed to me was the idea that I would have a completed sweater by the first week of December. I did not, however, think this through. You see, my sweater, the sweater of someone not a small, or not even an extra large, is going to take way more work than say the mediums and larges that the other people in my class are doing. Thus, when we were told that we would "have a lot of homework and need to work at a good pace" I should have heard "you will do NOTHING but knit your sweater 24/7 for the next two months." After working for an hour in class, two hours to Rhinebeck, and four more hours at home, I have now invested seven hours, and am now precisely ONE THIRD of the way up the FRONT. I need to finish the front up to the arm holes for my next class that is oh, Friday night!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Hi Ho The Derry-O A Rhinebeck We Will Go!

I am happy to report that Rhinebeck was a success and my SnB peeps and I had a great time. There was knitting on the car ride up!

And there was beautiful weather when we got there.

My only objective was to get some STR yarn. I even had a favorite color in mind with a back-up or two or three. Well, apparently I wasn't the only one!

Have you ever seen those blurbs on the news about the hoards of women that line up helluh early to buy cheap wedding dresses and snatch up like 10 gowns at a time and then go through them to make a final choice? It was like that, only with yarn, and less blood shed. None of my color choices were available, but I found a few I liked. I even lucked out and got a navy skein that I thought was sold out. A friend and I both saw it and she was able to hurl it over the crowd to me - just in time - as I was the next person in line to check out.

Once I had my STR, I was open to going with the flow. I saw some things that scared me.

And, I saw some things that I really liked.

It is a good thing I was not our driver; otherwise, I would be the proud parent of a sheep, or a llama, or a border collie. I restrained myself and did not get any animals but I did get a neat glass pendant for which I need a necklace.

I didn't get any more yarn. In fact, about halfway through, I was quite yarned out. I found that I had yarn overload and it all started to look the same (the same thing happens to me at museums). I did find some nice bison and buffalo yarn which was heavenly soft and would have made a nice scarf for Boo but it was more expensive than cashmere so I decided to pass. I did not pass, however, on the great carni food. Say it with me FRIED ARTICHOKE!

After we finished at the festival, we hit Morehouse Farms, where we encountered a fork in the road.

Heh. The trip to Morehouse was slow going because of the traffic but it worked out nicely because the break was long enough for me to be ready for some more yarn. Yeah!

In the end, I was pleased with the yarn purchases - not too much but enough.

Friday, October 20, 2006

To Kitchener is to Hate

For me, the kitchener stitch is like child birth (or at least what I think child birth would be like). You have to do this thing. This painful thing. This thing you need to psyche yourself up to do. All the work getting to the point of doing this thing, not bad at all. Sometimes fun, some times tedious, but over all, not bad. But this thing, you have it looming at the end of your project. This big ominous cloud of angst. You to watch videos, repeatedly, and read instructions and articles to make sure you know what you are doing. You repeat a mantra in your head over and over (knit, slip, purl, purl, slip, knit or breathe, breathe, breathe). If you are extremely anxious, you might even watch a video while doing it, to make sure you are doing it right. But, you NEVER look while it is happening. Some things need not be seen. During the entire process you SWEAR you are never going to do it again. The is the very last time. NEVER AGAIN. But, once you are done, you take a deep breath and admire your handiwork. You can feel a sense of accomplishment. You can know that the process TOTALLY SUCKS, but the result, pretty damn neat.

Unfortunately, and to extend this lame metaphor, I am kitchenering "twins." I still have one more sock in the works, Argh!

The Things We Do For Yarn

Me: Ya know, Rhinebeck is this weekend.
Boo: Huh.
Me: Like, in two days.
Boo: Hmm.
Me: And, yah know, there is going to be A LOT of yarn. Tons of stuff I could buy.
Boo: Huh.
Me: Aaannnnnddddd, if you wanted, I could maybe look for something to knit you. Buy some yarn for a project for you.
Boo: Huh.
Me: I'll bet the yarn is going to be expensive though.
Boo: Hmm.
Me: Dude.
Boo: Huh?
Me: I must be being too subtle. I was thinking maybe you could help, yah know, support the yarn addiction. Be an enabler?
Boo: (gets his money clip out of his pocket, pulls out one dollar) Here.
Me: Come on. Can't you do better than that? (whining) Pllleeeeeaaassseeee. I was thinking there might be like two extra zeros after that one.
Boo: (chuckling) Baby, there are four more where that came from.
Me: Pardon?
Boo: But yah gotta earn it.
Me: What? (gasp) You want me to have sex with you for FIVE DOLLARS?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Better Than It Looks

Breakfast of Champions!

If you look closely in the toaster reflection, you can see that the dog agrees that this IS better than it looks and that she is begging for a bite keeping me company while I have breakfast.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Back In Business

We can flush our toilets! Run our water! Use our plumbing like
regular folks! It seems that after much digging,

(note the tree that is OUT and off to the side instead of back in the hole!*)

we had a "piece of lead" jammed in our main line.

Um, WTF?!? I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing ... is our plumbing falling apart piece by piece or did the previous owners have some shifty shit going on and now its fixed for good? I am hoping for the latter. But no one seems to know for certain. I'm also hoping the term "lead" was more of a vague decriptive thing implying "metal and heavy" and that it isn't REAL lead that will lead to LEAD POISONING! Let's get some perspective on just how big that thing is ...

(My foot? TEN inches long. Lead metal thing? TWELVE + inches long. Picture? Not very clear.)

Not only is my plumbing back in working order, so is my Scratchy Jaywalker! Why? Because my prayers were answered!

(My mailman actually rubber banded the package to the mailbox!)

My needles, they arrived! I also picked up some needles for my SP9 and I really kinda like them. I think I might have to add some to my birthday list!

* Me: Why in the hell couldn't they put the tree back? What, was it going to cost extra? Too much labor involved? Asses took the tree out they can put it back in. I'm totally calling them. Either that, or you are going to have to dig a new hole. Them = asses.
Boo: I told them to leave the tree out. Them = not asses.
Me: ??
Boo: smile
Me: I liked that tree. A lot. It had pretty flowers in the Spring. The nicest of all of our Spring flowering tress. You'll be digging a new hole for it then? Right?
Boo: Oh? I thought I had total control over the yard and you got inside decision control ... ?
Me: Uh oh! Um, yah, I guess. Shit, I'm gonna have to sacrifice a perfectly nice tree to prevent NYY memorabilia from taking over the house.
Boo: Do you want to renegotiate?
Me: Nope. Hi Rock! Let me introduce you to my friend Hard Place. I hated that tree anyway.