Dear UPS Man:
Please accept my apology for flashing you my milky white legs. I know they stood out spectacularly against my black underwear and stained hot pink tee shirt. It was not my intention to great you sans pants. When I saw your truck and heard the bell ring, I thought you were ringing and running. I had no idea that you would still be in my driveway, let alone at my door awaiting my signature when I flung open my front door. Had I known, I never would have answered the door without my pants on. Heck, if I was expecting a delivery I would not have been pantsless while standing on the ladder in the middle of the huge picture window next to my front door, re-hanging my drapes. Honestly, I typically wear pants around strangers.
In any event, in addition to offering my apology, I would also like to offer my thanks. The fact that you maintained eye-contact, and played along with me, never acknowledging my pantsless state, the entire time I was signing your electronic whodickey was quite professional. If it was up to me, I would award you some type of UPS professionalism award for that.
Again, I'm sorry and thanks!