- I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.
- Birthday sex ... Birthday sex ... It feels like, feels like... lemme hit that...g-spot g-spot.
Things I've said that made the me think, WHAT?
- Please don't pet the cat on his butthole.
- Spit out the dog food. Now!
- Don't put the plug in your mouth.
- Oh, I thought it was because you smelled like a stripper.
Facebook status updates I've thought but not published.
- I smell poop.
- I need to poop.
- My kid is trying to kill me with the smell of her poop.
- A diet of 100% blueberries will give you navy/violet poop.
sub-category: I'm a bitch
- People who post scripture as their status are unoriginal sheep.
- I don't give a fuck about your weather.
- You are not half as funny as you think you are.
- I still don't give a fuck about your weather.