Sunday, February 12, 2012

Too Homespun

Pre-school Valentines and the need to not have the lamest Valentine ever can be a little scary.  Or perhaps I am just a little crazy?  Let's split the difference and go with both, m'kay?  I KNOW.  HUSH.  Move on from my crazy!

Our pre-school has a 'no candy' policy, but J1's teachers, knowing that the Valentine's will not be opened until the kids are home and out of class when the parents can parent, have a 'what happens in the Orange Room stays in the Orange Room philosophy.'  So, we could easily have slapped some candy on a store-bought Valentine and called it a day.  In hindsight, this is a smart way to go.  In any event maybe it is my inherent need to follow the rules, even when the rules are allowed to be broken, which is in total opposition to my driving/speed limit actions, but whatever, I didn't want to do candy Valentines.  This is why I decided J1 and I should get our craft on for Valentine's Day and decided to go with the recycled/homemade heart crayon Valentine idea that a friend recommended.  I perused Pinterest for further inspiration and thought I had a clear idea of what we were doing.

Clearly I did not, though when you look at our Valentines en mass, they seem fine.  But in reality, or at least in my perfectionist not-three-and-a-half-years-old brain, they are a little too homespun.  J1, however, is pleased so I am going to concentrate on that.  Should I ever decide to undertake this venture again, a few notes to myself ...

Select more similar colors.  Yes, your kid LOVES purple, it is her favorite color in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, but even a color blind person could see that the red and purple crayons look somewhat awful together.  That is not going to change when they bake.

Some people have glitter that bakes and stays glittery.  You are not one of those people.  Your sparkly red glitter will turn to black.  Black dots in homemade crayons look like dirt.  Your kid knows the black dirt dots were glitter and doesn't see this dirt dilemma, the other parents will.  GLITTER = FAIL.

Craft foam may seem like an awesome medium to attach things to and maybe it is.  It is not an awesome medium to print on.  My printer will not print on craft foam.  It will print on labels but those labels will not stick to craft foam.  So, unless you have a hankering to find your sharpest Sharpie and write some lame poem a dozen times, a poem that seemed not so lame until you wrote it a dozen times and then seems like the lamest thing ever, find a different medium.  This will also help with reducing the tears factor, when at some point your kid will have a hard time writing her name on craft foam and will goof up one, or four, of your Sharpie poemed masterpieces.  You will, tired of writing the stupid poem, snap.  She will cry.  Lesson? Craft foam is bad for this.

Your hole puncher has about a one inch reach.  You can not get it to punch three or four inches in from an edge and your three hole punch which may be able to do this has vanished. While it is incredibly crafty to let your kid rummage through your yarn stash and pick out some hand-dyed superwash sock yarn which you then will thread through a darning needle and use to sew your crayon onto your Valentine, it is only crafty for you.  And you know, it is not your crafty Valentine, it is your kid's.

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