I've always gotten a funny feeling when I think of the UGG. I mean, I tend to have cold feet in the winter, so the practical part of my brain says that fur lined softness in a squishy comfortable boot is a good thing, a really good thing. But then the part of my brain that has eyes and some vanity says, YUCK! Plus, they are sort of trendy, or pseudo-trendy, or formerly trendy and I can totally see my thirteen year old self (living in Florida where it was never cold and I would never have had an actual need for fur lined footwear) begging my parents for a pair for my birthday and then after finally getting them, wearing them with a short, faded, blue denim mini-skirt and a maybe a Coca Cola shirt (you know the one, kind of a jersey style long sleeve, collared shirt in a dark color, mine was blue, with a beigey white burlappy type of material patch along the middle of the boob area and with the Coca Cola cursive logo printed in the red). I'd wear this outfit to the mall or maybe the skating rink inwardly smiling because, DAMN! My outfit was so cool. And this whole image makes me shudder, and maybe even blush a little, and is the number one reason why I will not pay over a hundred bucks for shoes that probably would manage to keep my feet warm when I am sitting in my family room.
And though that may be my number one reason, I now have a clear and definitive number two reason on why the UGG is bad, bad, bad! To wit:
What, you don't see anything too terribly wrong? Take a closer look:
Good lord what have they done to yarn? Wool all over the world has hung its head in shame. First it was blended with nylon, then it was molded into this atrocity. These are not good. Plus they slouch. They are like a late 80's/early 90's EG Smith sock and a shoe all rolled into one. Another fantasy my thirteen year old self would embrace with love, affection, and magical fairy dust.
The UGG website reveals that this, this sock/shoe thing, comes in a tall version and a short version. They are called "crochet" boots but the description says they are knit. Either way I say, hell fucking no! I mean, HELL FUCKING NO!