Friday, August 10, 2007


I've always gotten a funny feeling when I think of the UGG. I mean, I tend to have cold feet in the winter, so the practical part of my brain says that fur lined softness in a squishy comfortable boot is a good thing, a really good thing. But then the part of my brain that has eyes and some vanity says, YUCK! Plus, they are sort of trendy, or pseudo-trendy, or formerly trendy and I can totally see my thirteen year old self (living in Florida where it was never cold and I would never have had an actual need for fur lined footwear) begging my parents for a pair for my birthday and then after finally getting them, wearing them with a short, faded, blue denim mini-skirt and a maybe a Coca Cola shirt (you know the one, kind of a jersey style long sleeve, collared shirt in a dark color, mine was blue, with a beigey white burlappy type of material patch along the middle of the boob area and with the Coca Cola cursive logo printed in the red). I'd wear this outfit to the mall or maybe the skating rink inwardly smiling because, DAMN! My outfit was so cool. And this whole image makes me shudder, and maybe even blush a little, and is the number one reason why I will not pay over a hundred bucks for shoes that probably would manage to keep my feet warm when I am sitting in my family room.

And though that may be my number one reason, I now have a clear and definitive number two reason on why the UGG is bad, bad, bad! To wit:

What, you don't see anything too terribly wrong? Take a closer look:

Good lord what have they done to yarn? Wool all over the world has hung its head in shame. First it was blended with nylon, then it was molded into this atrocity. These are not good. Plus they slouch. They are like a late 80's/early 90's EG Smith sock and a shoe all rolled into one. Another fantasy my thirteen year old self would embrace with love, affection, and magical fairy dust.

The UGG website reveals that this, this sock/shoe thing, comes in a tall version and a short version. They are called "crochet" boots but the description says they are knit. Either way I say, hell fucking no! I mean, HELL FUCKING NO!


barbp said...

I lived in Aspen for several years back in the early 80's. Hated UGG's then. Didn't think I could hate them more, but somehow this picture convinces me that yes - I can hate them more.

"My eyes, My eyes" Help!!


Yep, "Hell fucking no" captures my sentiment too!

handknitbyafailedfeminist said...

Uggs are an eyesore, hideous in so many ways. However, that being said they are super warm and comfy. My bf heidi said its like putting your foot up a sheeps' ass. My kids wear them, and I must confess so do I. Manolo's don't work in CT!

MollyKnits said...

I don't have UGGs but I do wear expensive, ugly shoes. I have several pairs of Biks that I wear ALL the time. They are the perfect for me. In the winter, I wear them with wool socks and my feet don't get cold. I live in an area called the "snow belt." We get hit with tons of lake effect snow of Lake Michigan every year. I tend to wear hiking boots then. They are expensive and ugly too. Darn practical though.

Rebecca said...

I love my UGG boots, the stealthy ones that just look like black boots and not UGG at all except they have the sheep skin. And my UGG clogs, because they actually keep my feet warm in the winter. But those things, those are just hideous. Even the slaughtered muppet boots are better than those,