Wednesday, December 12, 2007

J is for JustDecideOnANameAlready

The last few days have been ... eventful.

I've been the recipient of several gifts from Crazy. It is hard to talk about this without sounding ungrateful so I've been unusually demure of late in my rants about her and the office, but jizzy friggin krizzy, this gift thing has to stop. It borders on creepy stalker. It is weird enough that she keeps giving me things EVERY SINGLE DAY for, like, the ENTIRE LAST WEEK. But it is especially weird in light of that fact that we were mutually ignoring/not talking to each other the week before last. There have been magazines, books, white cocoa powder, figurines, a bag, and on and on and on. I seriously believe that her intentions are pure and nice and some of the stuff has been for Lady Bean but nonetheless IT MUST STOP! I am totally not digging on this. We slipped over into WhatTheFuckville and I want out! It just must stop.

I've been rear-ended by a child. A child born in 1990! How is it possible that someone born in 1990 is old enough to drive? I was so pissed when it happened, but I didn't want to call her a dumbass because she was a kid. A kid who would have burst into tears. A giggly kid who wouldn't stop giggling and apologizing and who's car was insured by her parents and who assumed that mine was too since it had both my and my husband's name listed and I apparently look like a high schooler. Both Lady Bean and I are fine, my bumper is not as fine, though a little botox and it should be fine too. In an attempt at optimism, I am saying it was all cool because 1) she thought I was still in school and living with my parents so I must look really young, 2) we got an extra sonogram of Ms. Lady Bean, and 3) we had a preview of the Labor & Delivery area of my hospital and its very nice nurses ... good stuff right?

I had my first ever bout of morning sickness which involved stomach bile and one lone diced tomato from dinner the night before. All I can say is I am one lucky bitch that this has only happened once. How do people deal with puking day in and day out (and yes, it was "productive" as I felt better afterwards, but still!)?

I've had the hardest time doing a heel in contrasting colored yarn for my PT socks. I finished the gusset and tried several heels with crapatastic results before I saw this over at the Yarn Harlot's. Seems I should have done a short row heel. Which I HATE. So, I made up my own thing which is not as cute as Madam Harlot's. But whatever. It is acceptable. I now have the legs to do and I am done. D - O - N - E, done! I hope to finish one sock tonight at SnB, but I am being an optimist (again) and bringing both.

I've been making my husband spew and choke, because, well, it is fun for me (or because I might be the tiniest bit of an asshole). Anywho, all of the women in my family have had names that start with J. Well, when I say all of the women, that would be me (now) and my mom and my aunt (before). We're a small people, but we made up for it in character. In any event, being that we are having a girl, I thought a J name would be nice. In theory, so did Boo. In reality we can't seem to agree on a name. Truth be told, we haven't tried too hard since we have an eternity to decide. We did agree that come March we would swap a list of names and battle it out then. In the interim, we've been using various, random, bad J names. Well that, and "the bean" and the new and improved "Lady Bean." In any event, it appears that my husband has issue with the name Joyce. If I want to make him choke, laugh, and spew anything in his mouth, I just have to say that Joyce this or Joyce that and BAM. This amuses me.

My snow boot/winter boot search has been directed to the UGG. Egads! I sought the advice of Joan, shoe connoisseur extraordinaire (usually, except for an unfortunate pair or two back in the 90's of which we shan't speak). She said she is thinking UGG because of practical purposes, but is resistant due to hate. I know EXACTLY what she means. I don't want to go ice climbing and hiking (shocking eh?), so I don't need something fancy and high tech. But, I am gravity challenged under the best of circumstances, rearrange my weight distribution, throw in some ice or snow, and it could get ugly. Like the boots. Which I am looking at with a (semi) open mind.


handknitbyafailedfeminist said...

I can say give in to the uggs, they are perfect for winter in the frozen hellscape we live in. Just don't look at your feet! Also I had minor car accidents caused by others in two out of three pregnancies. One time the car that hit me was older than the driver of the car. And she was a bitch.

Joan said...

If it's this hard for you, imagine if Lady Bean feels pressured to do the same if she has a girl one day...and she thinks her name was the last viable "J" option! Break the cycle! Unless you want to name her Joan, of course.