Monday, June 01, 2009


When we bought our house we knew it was a fixer. We also knew that the kitchen was one of the top five worst kitchens in the state and in the top twenty-five for the country. Nevertheless, we loved the neighborhood and so we bought the ugly duckling with grand plans of a new kitchen, new bathrooms and an addition. Unfortunately, it turns out that the ugly duckling isn't just ugly, but she also has osteoporosis. Which is my flowery way of saying that she doesn't have good bones. Every single project we have taken on from changing the mirror in the bathroom (and finding a John Malkovich hole behind the old mirror) to swapping out an outdoor light fixture (and learning that none of the wiring was up to current code, or even the 1960's code from when the house was built) has cost us 1000% more than we thought it would, or had budgeted for, and means that we that we won't be redoing our kitchen anytime soon. But is also makes us pragmatic. Not a dime is going into a kitchen that one day (oh please one day) is getting the ole heave ho. For example, when the shelves inside a cabinet came crashing down (bam, bam, bam), did I decide to get new cabinets? Nope, I just stacked my pans in higher stacks and called it a day (well a mutherfuking shitty day, but a day nonetheless). That being said, I believe my pragmatism has rounded the corner and landed squarely in the middle of white-trashville. To wit:

When a drawer pull fell the hell off for no apparent reason, and then wouldn't screw back on because it is apparently stripped (which, seriously, what the fuk? How often was this thing screwed and unscrewed so that it could even have gotten stripped in the first place??), I found a hook in our workbench and voila! Drawer pull. The sad part is, no matter how trashy the hook is, it is almost more attractive than our original drawer pull.

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