Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Finally! Something to Say

And it's about the weather (exciting? not so much). So, it's friggen cold, yo! I've been bemoaning the lack of winter and the lack of snow when holyfukinhannah it was below zero with the windchill this morning. And it was windy. Yesterday and today. What the hell? Is this Chicago? I had a rather dicey moment yesterday at the courthouse when I plopped my legal pad, with all of my client's original documents tucked in between the pages, on the hood of my car while I fished for change for the parking meter. Every last document blew away, all originals, none copied. I was able to track down all but one, the one that was the most important and the reason I had to drive over 50 miles to go to this court. I couldn't find 'em anywhere, but I could hear them flapping in the breeze. I think they were taunting me. Flap. Flap. Flap. About ten minutes later I spotted them - under my car, but under enough that I couldn't reach them. Trust me, I tried, despite wearing heels and a suit. I am sure my rump poking out form under my car was a sight. Think Winnie the Pooh, bottom up, looking for honey in a hole in the ground. I'm a class act. In any event, I couldn't reach them without moving my car, but I was scared to move my car because I thought they would blow away. Fortunately for me, there was a teenage girl on her cell phone walking by who agreed to help my by grabbing the papers as soon as I moved the car. Her phone conversation was something like, "Hold on yo'. This woman wants help wit some papers and a car. I don't know if she crazy. Yah it weird. Just hold on yo'." Nice. I freak out teenagers. It worked out and I got my papers and all was well until I did the exact same thing at work this morning. EXACT. SAME. THING. Legal pad on roof - whosh! Again I lucked out and was able to find everything, but WTF? Why is there so much wind? And, yes, I am blaming this on the wind. Anyone could have made that same mistake twice. Once in the afternoon and once the very next morning. It's not that I am a moron. But then again, maybe it is.

You see, this morning, when I got dressed and ready to leave, I put on two scarves. Not just two scarves, but two totally different in every way possible scarves. One is fat and fluffy red. The other, a more streamlined blue. Red is fluffy and bundles me up to my ears. It was crocheted for me by my Jesus-loving-praying-for-my-pour-going-to-Hell-soul SiL. I think it is Wal-Mart yarn. Blue is sleek and hugs my neck. I, an atheist, knit it with the good expensive LYS yarn. There is just no excuse. I'm surprised they didn't fight it out on my neck.

How did I manage to grab two scarves and put them both on? It's not like they were close in color and it was dark. I had blue wrapped around my neck and red on top. Just in case. I'm not sure of what. I never even noticed until I got to work (having chased down my papers while freezing my arse off) and started to disrobe. I took off my coat and hung it on the chair, then took off my scarf and hung it on top, then I took off my scarf and hung it on top, wait, didn't I just do that? Why yes, yes I did. Moron.

I may be a moron, but I am also a wild, wacky, wonderful woman. Didn't you see that on my door mat? Here, let me give you a close up.

BeFri and I have a tradition where we re-gift each other with our worst, oddest, WTFiest C'mas gifts, hence the rug/door mat. I won't share what I re-gifted on the off chance that my gifter could find out, but I will share what I got. Yah baby! Love me some rug-age. I can't wait to bring it home tonight and put it at our back door, the door we use every time we come and go. I am wondering if Boo will notice and if so, if he will question who the rug is referring too.

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