Holy Shit Yo!
I have the salmonella peanut butter!
It has the right code and everything.
And, I have eaten it. A whole bunch of it!
Obviously the peanut butter is no longer in my pantry. In fact, it is sitting on my desk as a reminder to call Peter Pan to see if I can get a free replacement. Is that cheap of me? It could be worse, I could use it up. I mean, I did eat half of it already. I don't think it has salmonella. But I'm not really sure. I mean, I don't have a gall bladder, so half the stuff I eat sends me to the restroom anyway. Also, I seem to have an unusual tolerance to foods that could kill me.
Oh, and in light of the recent salmonella peanut butter development, I hereby officially and publicly apologize to my husband for threatening to harm him or his man parts if he so much as put a finger on my peanut butter. As he is a hater of the Peter Pan and a lover of the Skippy (ick!), I thought he was being prickish. I thought wrong. He was being a kind and caring husband and was only looking out for my best interest. So, be it known to all that I was wrong and I apologize.