There were leather shoes (for the husband) and a leather briefcase (for me, which is perfect and addresses all of my complaints with my old briefcase). There were also some sugar crystals, some crystal meth, and some Crystal Light. I know, I know, I'm only kidding. We're not into that junk - there was no Crystal Light.
After the presents we checked out the spa facilities and swam in the pool. I was pedicured while the husband cleaned up and went to play the ponies - or something. He met some Russian mobsters who were betting a thousand bucks a hand and a used-up hooker. I had pretty toes, he had an experience. I think he lost his virginity and learned who poisoned Yushchenko and Litvinenko. We met for dinner at Michael Jordan's, where the steak and the scallops were heavenly.
Then there was Brenda. She was our post-dinner blackjack dealer. I can't do math in my head - I need my fingers - and my memory is not so good. For these reasons, I have never played blackjack, or any card game, when we go to a casino. But the husband wanted me to play and promised to tell me what to do, so I agreed. Apparently there are specific things you are suppose to do when certain cards are showing in your hand or the dealer's. The memory thing prevents me from telling you what those things are since I have absolutely no idea. Sometimes I hit on 15 and other times I stayed on 12. Why this makes sense, yo no sé! So, Boo helped me along ("Hit." "But Boo, I have 15, that's a lot." "Hit.") and Brenda, the best dealer in the whole wide world, did the math for everyone saying what they had when she dealt the cards. She also helped me out when the husband was running his yap to someone other than me (no used up hookers or mobsters this time) and didn't answer my alarmed, "Oh my god! What do I do?" Brenda was slick. She couldn't tell me when to hit or stay but she would say, "I have a X and that is typically a bust card." Bust, heh!
I had a blast. And, between Brenda and the husband, I ended up doing well. In fact. I won over $360 using tiny little $10 bets! I can totally see why this could be an addiction. Boo also did well, so in one night we had enough for a milkshake and a little something left over! The next day, after we were rubbed and scrubbed and spa'd out, I lolled around at the pool and Boo blackjacked some more. When all was said and done, our total winnings were enough to pay for our trip! They were also enough to pay for a whole bunch of really nice yarn, or a Louis Vuitton or two, but I was a good girl and the money never saw the light of day. Straight to the bank, temptation be damned!
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