NaBloPoMo, xxviii

Crazy: I mean no offense, but have you noticed that you are starting to look pregnant? Like with a belly (pause) um, bump?

Me:
A) Shit! Are you kidding me? Guess I better lay of the Swiss Cake Rolls.
B) I mean no offense either, but you're a cunt.
C) Yah, I figure that is going to happen at some point being that I am, you know, pregnant.
D) Is that a zit on your chin?
E) FYI, when you start a sentence with "I mean no offense" it is obvious to the listener that YOU DO IN FACT MEAN OFFENSE.
F) As my supervisor, is that really an appropriate thing to say to me?

As in the majority of multiple choice questions, the right answer to that question is C. I played it off like I was oblivious to that fact that she was trying to tell me I looked fat. I'm annoyed at myself for doing this as I usually don't let her get away with childish snotty comments. I'm big on calling her out to her face when she is rude or unprofessional to me. I'm also big on making fun of her behind her back because in many ways, I am twelve years old. Either way, when she told Office Manager that her boobs were too small, her clothes were unflattering, she looked horrible and so on, I got all over Office Manager for not standing up for herself or complaining about sexual harassment or something. So me = hypocrite.

Despite being called a lard ass, my day was not ruined (this happened yesterday).



Yeah, flowers! I love flowers. I love getting flowers. I love buying flowers. And, if I wasn't black-thumbed, I suspect that I would love growing flowers. Pookie and his boy toy, Shorty, sent me flowers as a 'Congrats, you're knocked up!' type of thing. Very cool! They are coming up to visit two Sundays from now and I can hardly wait. Since I will not be drinking, again, I look forward to remembering all the idiot things they do and recounting them in minute detail, much to their horror and dismay. There are rumblings about an epic game of Trivia Pursuit as Shorty is supposedly "good." Needless to say Boo is "grrrreeat" and even with me as dead weight on the team, I suspect he'll kick some arse. The last time we played, Boo ditched me on to some poor unsuspecting family members, but this time I think he'll be stuck with me, so maybe I'll finally win.