My Own Fault

For the most part my maternity leave has been Crazy free. There was the call informing me that I might get laid off, then there were the five gazillion subsequent calls telling me that no, not getting laid off. And, for the record, that totally bummed me out. I wanted to get laid off. But I digress. I had been pretty much Crazy free and I guess all the normalcy pushed me into complacency because I voluntarily stopped by my office last week and then, again voluntarily, brought Lady Bean up to Crazy's office to say hi. One thing led to another and the next thing I know, the woman touched my belly. I KNOW! Who the fuk rubs a non-pregnant person's belly? She says, "You're looking good" and then rub-a-dub-dubs. I was NOT prepared. Not that you can be. I mean, really, who is prepared for that kind of thing? Especially at her office. A pole dancer, maybe. But not a lawyer.