Monday, November 20, 2006

Avoid the clap - Jimmy Dugan

I have midget arms. Have I told you that before? No? Well, I do. I mean, I don't look like I have freakishly disproportionately short arms, but they seem a little short. Most times my sleeves, they're a little long. So, when I set out to knit the never-ending-sweater, I thought about my mini-me arms and I assumed that the sleeves would be a little no-nunthin'. Something I could knock out in a day. And you know what? As it turns out, I can knit FOUR long-sleeve sleeves in a day. Yes four. This would be great if I was knitting two sweaters. Or, if I was Siamese twins. But for me, for now? Not so good. Ya see, yesterday, I set out to create a sleeve or two. And I did, I knitted four. Four beautiful, too small sleeves. I knit the first sleeve up to the armpit before trying it on. It was beautiful. And, it fit just fine, for paint. The second sleeve? Up to the fattest part of the upper arm, this one fit great too, for a long john. The third time, I got a little smarter, I only went up to the elbow. It was also a great fit, for a cast. I am on to number four, having totally re-written the sleeve pattern. Had I given any thought to the pattern and the fact that I had to adjust the math to make "the girls" fit, I would have continued the adjusting for the arm width. But I figured short arms = pattern just right. Wrong. Short big arms = pattern + math. I did try to keep my brain peacefully numb during all this sleeve knitting with a whole of lot of Law & Order, some football, a little Dragonheart, and a smattering of 60 Minutes. It seemed to have worked as I was not screaming hysterically or bleeding from the eyes. In fact, I was fine until this afternoon* when I took a look at the fourth sleeve - the one that is a little looser that I'd like but better than the rest so screw it I am marching forward. That sleeve. Took a little look and I am not liking it. I think the increases look bad and the shape is odd.

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


So, I am now going to rip out sleeve four and go for number five. Have I mentioned that five is my favorite number? Let's hope it is my lucky number too!

* Boo might challenge this whole "I was fine thing." Last night when he came to bed, I was already asleep. Had been for hours. Nonetheless, I told him to avoid the clap and then I inquired about Cat's location - in Spanish. Maybe the stress of the sleeve knitting did get to me after all.

2 comments:

Claire said...

All I can say is, You're a Better Man Than I - I DEFINATELY would've been bleeding from the eyes by then, if my brain hadn't exploded. That's me, when faced with math/adjustments like that. Math + me = Explodey Brain.

Here's to Number Five!!!

KnittingJones said...

Whoa -- I would have flung the needles across the room! Fingers crossed for Five!