Sunday, October 26, 2008

A Handbasket, Por Favor

We have a new computer keyboard and it SUCKS. The side command keys - I just made up that term - the "home," "end," "delete," etc. - are in the wrong places and it keeps fucking me up. That isn't why I haven't posted in the last decade, but it contributed. Sorta. Well, not at all really. But it is annoying me now and I wanted to bitch. I am entitled as I have been up since 4:30 a.m. with a sick kid.

I actually have a few posts percolating in my brain (Ten Things I Have Said to My Charles Schwab Account in the Last Month: unrealized loss my ass! That shit is REALIZED! ... Baby Socks, quick to knit, fun to show off, impossible to photograph while on said baby ... How did I become the hippie granola freak making my own baby food? ... and so on) but I have something to tell you right now dear internet ...

Halloween is HERE. Well, more importantly in this neck of the woods ... Dogbert's Halloween party is here. In mere hours (and have I mentioned I have had NO SLEEP??). As you may recall, Halloween is big in these parts. The pressure was on this year to think of a good costume and well, I came up empty. The original plan, as lame as it could be, was for Dogbert to be Little Red Riding Hood and Lady Bean to be the Big Bad Wolf. Though I am all about making Dogbert's costume from scratch, I think doing the same for a 6.5 month old is ridonculous. So, I went off to find any black fuzzy animal that I could cram my somewhat over-sized kid in. I planned to take some liberties with the wolf thing ... dog, cat, wolf, she's six and a half months old lay off. Right? Wrong. There was not black furry animal costume to be found. The best I could find was a cow. At one point the Big Bad Cow seemed funny. Last night, the night before the contest, the Big Bad Cow was just LAME. So in a fit of domestic insanity, or just plain ole insanity, I hand stitched Lady Bean a red gingham skirt from the material that was going to go in the dog's LRRH basket. Yes, Lady Bean can be Little Red Riding Hood (with glazed over eyes and snot everywhere) and I AM FUCKING NUTS. Mind you, this skirt would get laughed off the runway on Project Runway - no hem - noticeable seemage - terrible craftsmanship - but still ... I AM FUCKING NUTS. The dog is going to be the Big Bad Wolf dressed as grandma. This is either an awesome idea or I was delirious after staying up with a sick kid. We'll see what happens. The contest, normally held at the doggie daycare place, is being held at an Alzheimer's home, so it's not as if the majority of the audience will remember if we totally suck it. I think I am going to Hell after that last statement. Right there is no Hell. Whew.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

At least no one can say they already saw one just like it in the Balenciaga collection, right?